Its almost like the person I’m trying so hard to be, I can’t be. The things that I thought and wished would never happen, happen. I have given up. I spent so much time trying to swim against the current now I’ve been swept up in it.I feel that some people are destined to be alone in this world. The people that started out with so much hope and optimism. Those people end up alone when we realize the world does not work that way. The way we dreamed. The way we envisioned it. No matter how much you hope and pray for things to come to pass the inevitable is bound to happen. I wish it were a pity party, but it’s not. I’m amazed at just how ferocious bitterness can become. How volatile it can make you. I think its best I distance myself from everybody. I’ve lost friends and people I care for people that called themselves family now they can hardly bare to say my name anymore. All because of my refusal to give in to the thought of a world that exist contrary to mine. When love turns to hatred it destroys everything in its path. Everything has lost its spark, and though it’s spring outside it feels like winter in my heart. Smiling and laughing have become chores. I am constantly reminded of those I hurt by word of mouth or by physical aggression. It haunts me. The sorrow becomes tremendous, and this is no ones cross to bear but my own. The dreamers among us are often the one’s who suffer most, and those who love them suffer even more. I feel like an island in the middle of the ocean who has never seen the sun, but has dreamed about it for years. All I can keep saying to myself is, this is not how it was supposed to be. How did I ever get this lost? This angry? This broken? Questions that I hope to figure out alone far far from everyone.