I try living for God the best way that I know how. I don’t think living for Him is about having all my crap together. I think its about recognizing Him in my weaknesses. I was set back because I had this misconception of holiness which still may be wrong. When I thought of holiness I thought it was just a way you choose live, almost like a series of decisions that you make all for the sake of setting yourself apart, and that is what I think holiness is to a certain extent. But I don’t know if we really know why we want to be holy. Because sometimes I need more then reason. I had no reason to try and be holy other than I knew that’s what the bible said. I know what your thinking, if the bible says it that is enough and we should just do it. If only it were that simple for me. I don’t want to just choose something like being holy or to forgive someone or to love someone because of head knowledge. I’d like my heart to be involved. And the thing is here lately I’ve been failing. I’ve gotten pretty far from God for all the wrong reasons as if there were any right ones. Falling away is easy, the trouble comes in finding my way back. So essentially that first sentence was a lie. I haven’t been trying to live for God. I’ve been living a lie, let it be known.