P***

I think that if there was ever a topic that I could write on to save a lot of young husbands, young fathers, and young church leaders tons of heartache it would be this. Porn. Something that always perplexes me is you hear all these numbers about how many guys struggle with pornography, yet you hardly ever see anyone talking about it. I feel like there is enough guys out there struggling with it that it doesn’t have to be secret. It would only be shameful if everybody else had it together, but I think we all know that’s not the case. So for sake of being different I’ll be frank. First off, everything anyone has every written about porn (aside from the scientific aspects of it) is wrong. Take the worst thing that you ever heard about pornography and multiply that times one million, and that will be only a  fraction of what will really happen to your life should you become addicted. It absolutely destroys you.  I’m not just writing this because I just read “Every Man’s Battle”, (even though I just did lol). I’m writing this as a brother and as a friend, to men who are both saved and unsaved. Take it from me. I’ve almost lost my wife, I’ve tarnished my character, missed out on dozens of opportunities all for what? The subtle glow of a computer screen in a quiet corner. A lifetime of love almost thrown down the drain f0r moments of fulfillment. I did that.  That doesn’t include the shame, and embarrassment you feel when you look in the mirror. The resentment that you see in the eyes of the woman you made vows too. The guilt you feel when your son asks you questions about honesty, or what it means to have integrity. The exhaustion you face mentally from trying to disguise your immorality. Trust me when I tell you no book is going to quite put into words the true ramifications of what it means to be addicted. I wish it were a phase or just some stage that we go through as men, but its not. It’s cancerous in the ways that it can grow and adapt with you. It thrives off silence and shame, prevalent in our households and churches for that reason, no one wants to talk about it. They want to feed us programs and books, and those things are awesome and they have there place, but I feel like what would truly be effective would be a community of men who are not ashamed of their shortcomings. Who aren’t afraid of talk about things that make you cringe and topics that aren’t always politically correct or pleasant. Things we need to hear. Having been there, the darkest recesses of my own selfishness I will say it’s not a place any man wants to be. It’s not a fight you want to fight alone. It’s not a weight you want to carry. It’s terrifying. Please take my advice before its too late and talk someone you trust. Don’t be like me. Do better.

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