Adjourned

I had heard this so many times, “they had conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony” Revelation 12:11, but I never really understood it until recently. I mean I understood it but, I think what really jumped out me now at this particular moment in my life is the word: word. How ironic.

In past times I would disqualify myself because of all the chicanery that I subjected myself to, and due to said chicanery I kept myself from a lot of opportunities because more than anyone else I criticized myself so harshly and I thought I was being real with everyone but I was just real dumb. I did not want to be a hypocrite and sing or talk about scriptures that I wasn’t living if that makes any sense, so I silenced myself.

I think that day time television is trash, but I have to admit, I do love a good judge and jury procedural. Judge Joe Brown is probably my favorite, and it’s because he reminds me of my Pah-pah. I started thinking about  how in the court of law a testimony can sometimes be the difference between liberty or incarceration especially when it’s credible…and sometimes when the defendant or whoever is in question refuses to talk they basically imply their wrong doing (I know that’s a broad statement but just humor me.)

Whenever the person on the stand speaks and they are credible the case can be completely turned around and I started to think how much more so is this the case in our own lives? The more we speak on what we have come through, and the grace we’ve received and the mercy we’ve been shown, the more glory that goes to God. So it really isn’t a matter of being real, by remaining quiet in light of grace and mercy is actually more hypocritical than saying something.

So, I’m not going to stay quite any longer. Even when I’m wrong I’m not going to keep myself from telling you how good God is. I’m not disqualified because of my mistakes. I’m just not.

hurt

Upon entry that cold December evening, the nurse smacked Elijah’s little baby booty and he did NOT like that. I didn’t either but I get it. The pain helped us to know he was alive. It is a sign of vitality and though the event is short lived and heart breaking the benefits are long lasting.

I think we spend a lot of time talking about being hurt. We sing about it, tweet and posting about it, because we all been there, it’s common ground.

So we put up walls, and try and figure ways to avoid it, or to shield ourselves from it, some of us even try to detach ourselves from our feels in effort to protect our hearts from being crushed, but the truth is, even when detached, hurt is inevitable. When you’re detached you have lost more than just your feels, you’ve lost a bit of yourself. Denying yourself that feeling which is only human. Even Jesus, tried to escape the hurt and betrayal that was set before Him while in the garden praying. I mean this is the Son of Man we’re talking about. Yet, He yielded His will to a greater purpose, because He realized the hurt, a hurt far greater than any we will ever know, was necessary to fulfill His destiny.

Maybe instead of trying to escape the hurt, we should embrace the fact that it comes with the territory. The territory being life. Personally, I will no longer run from my hurt. I’ve exerted a great deal of energy doing so, but again it is inescapable. No matter where you find yourself, people, places and things are all subject to error, and you are too. So, I say don’t run, stay. Don’t hold, release. Don’t hate pray. The hurt is part of the story, good news is, we know the Author.

Aladdin Suhsmaddin…

I just want to say this, and in all actuality it pains me to say this. I feel like Jasmine and Aladdin should have probably considered some pre-marital counseling.

I know that times were hard for Aladdin, but in the big bustling city of Agrabah, you telling me that he couldn’t find a job as an apprentice, or a shop hand?

Aladdin had a pet monkey that could understand his commands…think about that. He could’ve started his own business doing shows for little kids with Abu. Why couldn’t he find any other means of providing for himself than stealing?

I feel sorry for Jasmine. I mean she’s going to wake up one morning and realize, aside from shoplifting and being a good dude, Aladdin has no real experience with anything other than back alley parkour.

Keep Aladdin and Jasmine in your prayers guys.

Forget.Everything.And. Run

So you know, I was thinking about things people say that we just say without really realizing the gravity of what we’re saying. Things like, “I know it’s hard…” uhh no you don’t because you know them so using yourself as a reference point is kind of pretentious honestly but the sentiment is appreciated. Also, “Things will get better…” umm says who? Is better waiting around the corner of the horrible junction that is a tough circumstance like, “yoooo, I’m on my way!!” Then this phrase came to mind and it’s a doozy…, “don’t be afraid”. Wow. Fear is a strange thing. Some of the things were deathly scared of pose no harm to us, but things that could actually kill us we never worry about, like our bodies or brains. That’s why the horror genre is so funny to me, because it’s like 75% of the stuff produced could never happen but it’s the thought that gets us, it’s not so much the movie as it is our nasty selves. The other 25% we just won’t talk about. 90’s thriller movies aside, I think that when you tell someone don’t be afraid you really should consider the situation. Hey, it’s okay to be afraid, but remember that fear is a thought it isn’t a reality. I think courage is the ability to control that feeling of fleeing in those moments where the worst thoughts become visceral and you’re actually in a situation that could go any way, but even then we have the power. So yeah, “Don’t be afraid, be mindful.”